I felt such grief to hear my brother-in-law had passed over last week. I felt it was appropriate to offer healing and as the Balinese family sat through three days of prayer to help him leave this world, I was in discussion with him.
Komang was only 32 years old and I had met him only one time many years ago. After my husband Wenten and I had been to a restaurant he told me his younger brother had been our waiter. In Australia there would have been introductions and a kiss on the cheek but it is oh so different in Indonesia and I guess no matter how I think of it, I will always be the foreigner.
As the eldest son of nine and with both parents now passed, Wenten is in charge of the family. Originally from Bali, they were moved to the next island Lombok when the volcano erupted in 1963.
Around four months ago Wenten took his brother to visit a Doctor where he was diagnosed with Cancer in his mouth and tongue. The only hope was drastic surgery that was declined. Wenten had not spent much time with his brother, there is 20 years difference in age, but helped him since the diagnosis, offering support and comfort.
When Komang passed, the family met with the priest and decided the cremation would be soon, with a feeling of urgency that he be helped to leave his earthly body and reincarnate as soon as possible, as in the Balinese tradition and beliefs. Wenten began preparations for a gathering of 750 people and three days of prayer in his village. I began three healing sessions, one each day.
As soon as I focused on healing it was like Komang was in the room with me and we began a discussion. He told me he wanted to talk and to explain the situation. I later found out he had not been able to physically talk for some time, but he had no trouble in talking now.
In my communications with him he spoke freely, but without body, it was more like a sharing of thoughts, feelings and ideas. I had only met him that one time and knew nothing about him, I only found out he had cancer two weeks before he passed when Wenten told me he was going to his village to do healing for him.
Komang told me he had felt like there was no hope in his life, he felt stuck, there was no way to progress and no way out. He said he was not like Wenten, he was not good looking or smart and so he could not be successful in life like him. He then told me he had committed suicide.
I could see there were many others around him, in another dimension, where they were “stuck” in a similar state of consciousness as each other, with the same feeling of hopelessness. It was like I was looking into a crowd of people who were lost.
He then said he wanted to change but cannot, he faded away and we lost contact.
I phoned Wenten and told him what had happened and he said he was glad I was in contact with him and confirmed all that he had said to me, that he did not have a good relationship with him and that he knew his brother was not happy in his life. Wenten then had to get back to his prayers so nothing more was discussed.
As soon as I started the session I had the feeling or rather an image of suffocating and panic, which I thought was probably the feeling that Komang was holding, so I quickly explained that he had passed over and this was just a memory, that he was no longer in his physical body. He soon realized this and calmed down before talking to me.
He told me he was very upset I had discussed his situation with Wenten overnight, he didn’t like him interfering and really did not like him! He was almost angry, although Balinese very rarely display this emotion, he was genuinely showing his dislike for Wenten.
He told me he had taken drugs to suicide at the end. He said he felt worthless and again that he had no hope and no other way out.
I asked him what he felt his lesson in this life had been? We discussed how everyone had a reason for their life, a purpose that we come into a physical body to both give and receive. While he was not communicating much with me at this stage, he was definitely listening and I sensed he did not understand the concept of ‘giving service’, which is my own life purpose and what I usually talk to people about in situations like this. I spoke with him about having self-respect and loving yourself as the most important thing. He drifted away.
Today was the day of his cremation in Lombok and I know they had been praying continuosly for him until now. I did not have a conscious communication with him this time, it was more like a dream that I remembered. His attitude had changed a lot and he said he wanted to thank Wenten for what he had been doing for him over the last days, for talking with him in prayer and for explaining the situation to him, and for giving him the details of what had happened and what he must do now. He said he appreciated the help from family and especially Wenten. He strongly feels the love they are sharing with him in the ceremony and he returns that feeling.
He went on to say he wishes to incarnate through family as suggested, in Bali next time so he has more opportunity. It’s time to leave the Lombok family so he can find his own greatness. Ohm Shiva.
I didn’t feel the need to do another healing but took time to reflect on what had been happening. I felt a peace, a quiet, something changed and yet nothing changed. I realized I have been in communication with a higher energy, information was discussed and passed forward, it was not emotional, irrational, it had no anger, even though at times the soul showed he had been upset and angry, there was no emotion attached to it, it just was. I have not yet had a chance to speak again with Wenten since the first day. I want to tell him what has been happening but when I sent a text and called there was no response. I will talk with him when he responds.
Sitting quietly and tuning in for a moment I feel like I see the universe from the perspective of the soul I have been working with. In my minds eye I see and with my heart I feel the expansiveness of the universe, I visualize it going on forever and all the petty day to day activities of life on planet earth have absolutely no consequence, it just does not matter any longer. All is released and an attachment to self fades into an understanding of the all. My brother in law has moved on, he is free.
I don’t know what happens now, but I do know its all going to be OK.
I spoke with Wenten today and he confirmed all of the information, that he felt his brother had lost hope, like many in Lombok have, especially since the earthquakes four months ago.
He then told me that he had been called to visit his brother before he passed, he was told there was a message he wanted to give, but he had passed two hours before he was able to get to the village. He said he was so happy I had been able to tell him and his family what I had received. He also felt his brother had been released and was free.
I asked if it would be all right if I shared what had happened and he was very happy, saying that only some people can communicate in other dimensions like this. I thought it was all very normal, this has been happening for a long time, I have had all sorts of conversations with people both still alive and those who have passed while in a state of healing or meditation.
I think we experience whatever our own belief system is when we pass over, the family are very traditional Balinese and Wenten has been reading the Balinese texts to those who pass for many years, to help them on their journey. Maybe what I was able to bring has helped add peace and closure.
26th November 2018